Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Defining Recovery

So you finally get to that point where you convince yourself maybe the eating disorder isn't working out too well for ya. Ok, great! But... then what? What even is recovery?
Some questions and doubts I had when I first started considering recovery...
1. Will it be better?
2. What is it going to be like?
3. How long?
4. When will I know?
5. I don't have any happiness to go back to from "before" the eating disorder. So what will recovery really be fore me?
6. What if it just ends up me being fat?

Pretty much all of those questions are the eating disorder playing out the what-ifs of leaving it behind. And unfortunately there really is know way of answer some of these questions, making things even harder and scarier. The only way you can have an idea of what "it" might be like is from others that have walked before you. So that means trusting, and I am also aware that is something that eating disorders hate. It means trusting that your therapist, doctor, social worker, psychiatrist, dietitian, is NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU FAT. It means actually attempting the suggestions they are giving you and listening to what they are telling you. While I was in treatment I felt like I didn't really get to see or learn from anyone who had actually recovered. And in this blog that is one thing I would like to share, my experiences and advice. Keep in mind, no two eating disorders are alike, and therefore no two recoveries are either! So I'm going to list what recovery was and is for me. I hope this will help clear up a few of those questions and maybe ease the anxiety because trust me, RECOVERY ROCKS.

Recovery is...
  • Eating and enjoying the food
  • Smiling and being truly happy
  • Spending quality time with friends and family
  • Taking care of yourself
  • Appreciating the seasons and all the good things that come with them
  • A closer connection to God
  • Shopping and actually focusing on the clothing (not the sizes!)
  • Cooking and baking
  • Exercising for health and fun
  • Being able to control your emotions
  • Learning what you really like to do
  • Performing better (work, sports, school, relationships)
  • Not sweating the little things
  • Peaceful nights
  • Knowing how to balance life
  • Being passionate
  • Using coping strategies
  • Picking yourself back up when you fall
  • Going swimming in the summer and not caring about your appearance
  • Not comparing to everyone else
  • Knowing you are beautiful
  • Not being triggered so easily
  • No more freaking out about restaurants/dining out
  • Laughing
  • Living without the fear of the what-ifs
  • Finally tackling your depression
  • Accepting compliments
  • Losing the secrecy and isolation
  • Ending the OCD behaviors that tie you down
  • Loving yourself above all else

Please comment and add some of your own!

Love,
Sophie Ana


No comments:

Post a Comment