Being Assertive

I remember in elementary school they taught us about passive, assertive, aggressive in friendships and personalities. I always thought I was assertive but was always so cautious about what other people would think about the things I was saying. I chose my words carefully, making sure not to seem whining or like I was complaining. The last thing I ever wanted to do was upset people. The eating disorder told me to become this super girl. Capable to the extreme, able to deal with anything, and never complaining or letting people down. I guess I always just thought passive meant shy. But it's not at all! Lately I've been passive. Honest to myself it's the truth. I feel like I'm not yet up to ability so therefore I don't get a say in anything. But the past few days it's been really bugging me. I'm getting stuck doing things I don't want to be and I can't deal with it anymore. I don't want to seem like a baby or be all whiny and complaining but where is the line drawn between that and being assertive. I deserve my preferences just as much as others, right? So I'm planning on having a friendly assertive conversation with some people this afternoon. Hopefully I won't chicken out! Cause I can tell the eating disorder might just be whispering in my ear, "stop being a baby this is what you get for not being good enough". Uggh like I need more stress is my life right now! But I think that getting this off my plate might just help me feel a little better. So ED, stand back because I'm about to speak up!

Love,
Sophie Ana