The Ugly Truth

So I know I haven't posted in a while. Things have been insanely busy. So busy that I have been getting out of check with myself and now I need to face the ugly truth. It was shoved into my face Tuesday when the day had absolutely no excuses to be anything but good. Tuesday was the first break down I've had about food in almost a year. Or maybe there have been more but I haven't let myself break down. So I faced the ugly truth and know now that I need to go back to therapy. I feel defeated, ashamed, weak, broken. Why does it have to be like this? Why me? Why can't I just be normal! I'm so sick of this eating disorder and how is stereotypes me. I'm not that girl. That's why the therapist I'm interested in going back to is not a specialist although she has background with treating eating disorders. I need to focus on my anxiety and social issues. The depression and how to find out who and what I really want to be in this world. I don't need to re-tell my sob story for the millionth time. Like come on, I'm sick of it. I just want to get things back under control so I can stay in a good happy place.

So that is the bitter ugly truth. And hell yes it's real. And I'm going to have to deal with it. And I'm going to make sure I get through this.

Love,
Sophie Ana