Nutrition Appointment

So yesterday I got back from my trip which actually went very well. I won't say it was perfect because there were a few freak-outs but that's okay, no one is perfect. But after I got home I had my nutrition appointment. Lets just say I went into it thinking I was doing a lot better than I actually was. She didn't weigh me. THANK FREAKING GOODNESS. And said she won't but I need to log all my foods and follow a meal plan. Fuck. That's all I could think. Or really that's all the eating disorder could think. Instantly when she said those words he felt trapped, caught, and out of luck. He tried to pass those feelings on to me and at first it worked. But then I realized that I have to do this and I'm not going to let things keep slipping because they already have been slipping way quicker than I imagined. Ugh it's embarrassing, it's humiliating, it's disappointing. Those are the basic emotions I'm feeling as I start way back at the beginning on a meal plan measuring and tracking my food. I am accepting it though, and running with it. I know if I can follow it and maintain then there will be better things to come ahead. The most difficult part for me right now is deciding on foods and planning. I feel like there are no foods I can think of that are healthy and I want to eat come meal times. So I'm going to have to get to work on recipes and shopping so I can successfully tackle this meal plan until I see her again at my next appointment. I was definitely feeling a lot worse about things before I started this post. Things suddenly seem to be looking up, and lets hope they stay that way!

Love,
Sophie Ana