Monday, April 29, 2013
Sometimes you just wake up and you're already like... ughh, everything today is going to seem like a chore and take extra effort. So then automatically my eating disorder brain goes... ya lets have an off day today. But there is no good reason. Like it's not like it's a birthday party or a really stressful project for work but it's just an exhausting day where even recovery seems far off. Really, there is a reason deep deep below this. It might sound stupid but sometimes it could be as simple as boredom, loneliness, lack of excitement, or even sadness you've been covering up and avoiding for a while. These things have probably been underneath for a while but have easily hid because of the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Like maybe you've been having really good therapy sessions but then you have like just a mediocre one and you're not sure what to make of it. It's that gray spot that eating disorders hate. Because unfortunately life is not just black or white, it's mostly that weird middle area. When these days come up how do you keep momentum? Recovery will always be an ongoing process, and that means it takes constant work even when you start to loose steam. Personally, I am a big fan of organization so lists work perfectly! I have a few lists and drawings from therapy of things to do when I'm in that bored slump. It's stuff like painting my nails, coloring, listening to music, journaling, and spending time with friends and family. It's the little things that keep me present because usually a lot of my stress is built from hanging around too much in the past or future. Go out and buy a fun craft or some materials to make jewelry or find a new recipe to make. Call up a friend for coffee or catch a movie with your sister. All of these things give you a little boost of something to look forward to which will help you through the day, week, month! The gray days are the worst but they are also the ones that move you forwards, because once you can crush those ones the rest is easier (notice how I didn't say easy-- because not a single bit of this is easy). So make those gray days pink, you can do it, because we can only move forward as much as we want to and try for. Stay positive!